Healthy Living

"It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life...
We can never help another without helping ourselves."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

This quote by Emerson struck me being a mother who recovered her son from Autism. Like so many of you out there...how often do we put the needs of everyone and everything above our own? How do we find that delicate balance between service and self? As a single homeschooling mother of five and the sole provider for the six of us...I've found that to be in my daily prayers. "Lord, help me correctly prioritize what is before me this day." God knows everything on our plate. He also knows what is most important not only for us but for those around us. I'd like to share with you some of the insights He's given me over the years as well as just today in this area.

During our plight with Autism, I also was in the midst of suffering with Lupus, an auto-immune disease. For years prior to Autism I had suffered with chronic pain, lethargy, mouth ulcers which rendered eating nothing but pure pain...and a few other not so fun symptoms. I was in and out of the hospital due to pleurisy as the Lupus attacked the lining of my chest wall. Since it can also attack the heart, every trip was another heightened experience of rushing doctors and tests to determine if my heart was now being attacked...one of the ways this disease can take a life. Having five children, homeschooling, and watching as my son slipped into the grips of autism all took their added toll on my body. Trying hard to keep healthy, get enough rest, avoid illness and maintain some sort of remission from this dreaded disease was my focus.

Then Autism exploded within my son's little body. All of a sudden the Thunderstorm of Lupus was masked behind the Hurricane of Autism. My body, my needs, and my health were put on hold. All I could do was deal with Autism and how it was tearing my family apart and stealing my son away. After about five years, a diagnosis, self-treatment for him...I finally got into a world leading doctor for treating Autism. Life at that point was about helping my son recover and thus reclaiming a normal life for my family. Yet I'll never forget that very first appointment with Dr. Baker. I'm sure I was worn looking...tired from 'doing' autism for the last few years. Exasperated from studying, traveling to conferences, learning how to treat my son on my own...trying to discern the best course of treatment that was life for me. Sitting in this physician's office with my hope that he could now take over all these tedious decisions of what to do for my son...I listened to his first advice to me: "You know, looking at your own history, what we are going to do for your son could also help you with Lupus." What? I thought. I thought I knew what to do for Lupus, get lots of rest (some day...) avoid illness and eat healthy...hope for remission enough to get through each day. But his words rang in my mind. He told me to find a doctor who could treat me the same way.

So what does a mother do? There's the time factor. The expense. The pure "add another thing to the list..." and so on! But I trusted this doctor. After some time in prayer I decided God had put many things in place for me to do just that. I already had been given long ago, the name of a doctor, Tammy Born, who might be able to help me. Long story short...I did go see her, I did get some treatments, I did put this as a priority...and a few years later, I did Recover myself! I didn't stop caring for others, rather I just reprioritized for a season. Where would I be right now if had I not taken those few steps to make myself a priority? I shudder to think...perhaps the doctors who originally diagnosed me would have been correct...I would be breathing my last breath today. Their prognosis for me was living to my forties. Since I had gone against their advice and had more children, my life expectancy was shortened greatly. Instead...my son is recovered, my other children also recovered from various health issues and I too recovered a year and a half ago from Lupus. Not a single symptom after having 9 of the 11 diagnosed years ago. At age 42 I now feel healthier and more full of energy than I ever can remember in my whole life!! And that's as a single mother of five, homeschooling, moving homes on our own, working full time building our ministry and business. Only God could have known what I needed that day I sat to get my son the help he needed. How grateful I am that I have the health today my children and I so desperately need! Enjoying a recovered child from Autism would have been stolen away if I was sick with Lupus today.

So I encourage you to take time for yourself. Pray and seek God what it is that YOU need to do for YOU! Is it more quiet time with the Lord? Is it more date time with your spouse? Is it more fun / relaxing time with your family? Perhaps it's fishing, visiting with friends...I had a dear friend come just the other night and whisk me away to the movie theater! It had been a rough day (of course I still have plenty of those) and I called for some added prayer that evening. She asked if she could come over...next thing I knew we were in the car and off to the movies! It felt so good. I couldn't recall the last time I had gone out with a friend like that. What did I realize after that night? Seeking the Lord and continually asking Him, "What do I need for me today?" is as important as "What can I do for others today?"

We have so much we tend to daily, whether you're a father, husband, mother, wife, single, married...we all have busy lives. We all have so much responsibility. I'm not suggesting anyone become selfish...but those who read this article about Autism and Lupus are often those who are 'self-less' in heart. It is to you that I address the question...what do you need to do to help yourself today? So that you can then be your best to help others around you.

As Walter Elliot states: "Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races, one after another." That is life, whether it's recovering a child from autism, yourself from some disease, or simply dealing with the issues in your story of life...it's many short races. Make sure you take time to race for yourself as well as others! May God Bless you as you persevere!